(Federal grants available for those who love the power of the dance)
Oh yes, the Bulshot Ballet has developed many masters of the dance. Our honorable Governor Otter is an outstanding student and prima ballerino of those with two left feet. At first slow to start but now the Governors tip toeing closer to a Bolshevik grand triumphant, a trifecta of two-step accomplishments that would leave even the most ardent goose stepper tapping to a new tune. It’s not easy to pull off the baby elephant walk while dancing to the tune of “Sunshine and Lollipops”, but with enough free money (free if you don’t have to pay it back) even the stiffest right legged fence posts can waltz.
How so you say? Just for starters try a few lessons from the master fox trotter himself, President Obama. His smooth reggae style eased the reluctant neophyte Otter to see how he and of course your tax dollars could heal pain, limber the spine and quench thirst from the cool, cool fountain of everlasting health care. The workout video must have done the trick because the reddest of red states took up the twist (not the dance where you twist your hips and legs, just your arms). Hello ObamaCare, and the Dancing with Stars star of all seasons, Governor Otter, takes a deep bow.
Not to afford any missteps Governor Otter then leads Idaho to the beat of a new dance craze, this time especially created for the youth of our nation. From the man with more moves than Ex-lax, with a rumba reminiscent of Pee Wee Herman’s bar dance, the Governor will tango like a Marx and Engels pair to bring your children a more “balanced” education. Soon to be your children’s favorite (certainly better than Go You Chicken Fat Go), an uncommon to the core updated version of the Hokey Pokey (and now you have to turn your kids around) will fill the classrooms. Learning is just not rigorous enough today putting only your left foot out, you must now put your whole body and soul out, way out left. Count with me one, two, three – that’s it your kids are doing nicely dancing like puppets on a string to a Common beat from a new Core of hipster teachers. Isn’t learning fun! Ask any Madison County School Board member, they’ll tell you it’s like dancing on hot coals.
Please don’t think you’ve missed the last act of this epic three piece toe tapping good time Charlie, rock and roll, plastic banana classic, yes, there’s more coming our way. You are cordially invited to witness a masquerade on thin ice…….. Please be advised this exhibition of shuffling shysters is only for those without Constitutional bounds, without inclination of sovereignty and with absolutely no regard for due process! Let your hair down man, I can feel the tingle crawling up my leg!
Coming to Boise this May 18th, a virtuoso of the soft shoe, the man who could fandango on skates, the seated Governor will appear live at the Capitol during a special legislative session held in his honor. Your legislators will ooh and aah at his command performance and lay down accolades for this dance of a lifetime, a last tango of despots. No longer will deadbeat dads twirl their nights away captivated by the Moroccan dance of a thousand veils, or spin away mindless hours in the highland Caucasus’s under spirals of whirling dervishes. No, hell no! There is no place to hide, no haven so safe, no fortress so strong, no price future generations of tax payers cannot pay spending millions collecting thousands from run-away dads. Thank God there are children, yet unable to vote, but still willing to sacrifice their financial futures for a waltz in their Governor’s footsteps. I can almost hear bells ringing, an Imam calling the faithful to prayer, a great sigh of relief from the World Court and the deafening cacophony of applause from the White House. Let no issue be danced around or sidestepped more, the House and Senate will be cutting the rug like never before in their efforts to look stoic while bending over deep plucking dollars from the unclean gutters of Washington; all the while trying to keep their backsides unexposed. There’s dancing to be done when money flows like the Ganges so no amount of shame will stop them. SB1067 to you and me but a break dance brought to us by central planners, but to those who love the dance a bold and powerful move to the left.
So turns the world of political song and dance performers all beaming with smiley faces rimmed with rose colored glasses. I’ll be clapping when the curtain finally falls, long after the party’s over and the drunk with power begin to sober up.
“There are none more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free” — Goethe