Seeing Ourselves as Others See Us

Twenty-five years ago, Daniel Goleman published his book EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ). (EQ) is the ability to perceive, use, understand, and handle one’s own emotions, but also the emotions of others. For my simple brain, it simply means the ability to understand our surroundings and how we relate to others, while at the same time seeing ourselves as others see us. In one of the early chapters, he describes a young girl who when asked to draw a picture of her kindergarten classroom drew the picture in such a way that she placed herself at the upper corner of the picture and the rest of the students in her classroom at various positions within the classroom. Each individual student was portrayed doing their favorite activity. All the other students drew pictures with themselves at the center of the picture. They were unable to match individual students with activities or their positions in the classroom while doing those activities.

The study was done at an elite university kindergarten and the students had already been identified as possessing the gift of having a high Intelligent Quotient (IQ). Our young girl had one of the lower (IQs) in the class. The students were followed many years into adulthood. There were high (IQ) students that became university professors and teachers, but a few high-IQ individuals completely dropped out succumbing to mental illness and drugs. (EQ) became more of a predictor of future success than IQ. Our young girl with the lowest in the class (IQ) had the Highest (EQ). She became the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.

While in Seattle recently I picked up an Uber ride from a man from India. He taught school in the Seattle school system but he was driving Uber so his kids could go to private Catholic schools. “There is a big difference you know” he opined voluntarily.

Several years ago, while visiting San Francisco I went out to dinner in Chinatown. Included in our party was a husband and wife, both physicians. One’s family had immigrated from Hong Kong and the other’s parents had immigrated from Taiwan. After dinner as we walked outside. I noticed that on the floors above the restaurants all the windows had lights on—and it was ten o’clock at night. I asked my friends what businesses were operating so late at night. Their answer—tutors for children that went to public schools. Their culture valued education so much, that parents were willing to sacrifice their time and money to give their children the best opportunity to succeed that they could find. The public schools were substandard I was told.

In the Wall Street Journal Saturday Review section last weekend, it was reported that Victor Bout ” the merchant of death” arms dealer that was recently exchanged for Brittney Griner, in his first TV interview in Russia since his release painted a very bleak picture of Western society. “What is happening in the West is a suicide of civilization, “said Mr. Bout. “Can you imagine that in America they are teaching first graders that there are 72 genders. Not just normal people and gays but 72 genders”!

In Mathew 7: 3-5 we are told: Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye, but not the log in your own”? Self-awareness?

Western civilization is destroying itself from within. Others understand this. I wonder what Mr. Putin and Mr. Xi think about our moral fiber. Maybe they believe we have been too soft for too long. The greatest generation prior to confronting the evils of fascism totalitarianism and Communism in WWII, had their bones and moral fibers tested to the core by the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl. They were lean, mean, and ready to defend Christian—Western values. What about today? What do our enemies believe? Do they sense strength or weakness in the American people?

If we could only see ourselves as others see us. If we could just place ourselves at the corner of the picture instead of in the middle with only ourselves in the center. If only the intelligentsia in our society could replace a little of their (IQs) with some common sense and (EQ) we could turn this thing around.

If only we could see the “logs in our own eyes”.

From where I sit in Garden City the only way out is with another much-needed GREAT AWAKENING.

God Bless America!